I solemnly swear to first do no harm....
I solemnly swear to first do no harm….

Irony: when your mother stops you in the middle of a busy city intersection to discuss the perils of diesel fume toxicity whilst ignoring the fact that you’re standing in the middle of a busy city intersection.

We made a late start. Mom wanted coffee, but we pushed on to the Reading Market not certain what to expect. By the time we got there and walked through it once, the natives were getting restless, for they had not yet had their morning coffee. We ended up at a greasy spoon to fulfill some of Maslow’s most basic needs: specifically sustenance and self-protection (the natives can get aggressive when they are hungry and haven’t had their coffee). The coffee was okay, but the spoons were greasier. We had strongly considered Sabrina’s (based on Andy Walter’s suggestion) but deemed it “too far out of the way”, a choice we came to regret.

Epidemiologists refer to markets such as these as
Epidemiologists refer to markets such as these as “hot zones for transmissibility”

Mom had bacon and I don’t know what she did to it. At one point, I saw her tearing the pieces long-ways. It was as if she was trying to unzip the bacon and then, arbitrarily, choosing to eat only the left side of the zipper. Emily and I each had scrambled eggs with stuff in it (mine was asparagus and mushrooms, hers was cubed ham, onions, and green peppers). I won’t go into great detail because it does not merit detail.

meh
meh

Afterwards, we made our way to the Liberty Bell where we were examined by the National Park Service’s finest men and women in green for any potential weapons or coffee cups. The line was exhaustive.

The Liberty Bell, best known for its crack, is a symbol of freedom and was a calling sign for the continental congress. Over the years, it has been adopted by minority groups as a symbol of the promises of freedom from those Founding Fathers to everyone, including the abolitionists and women’s suffrage.

“That’s it?” – Mom

In summary, it was a long line to see a bell. Here is Emsky and me next to said bell.

After that, we went to the National Constitution Center. This is actually quite a nice facility with cool interactive displays and a rather stirring performance in a Shakespearean style theatre. If you go to Philly, you should go here. It included The Signing Room, which was full of full-size bronze statues of the congress, which peaked my interest in growing a pony-tail. What did our founding fathers wear? Mustaches? No. Beards? Goatees? Chops? No, no, no. They all had many pony-tails. They even put ribbons in them!

Next, we started our journey back to the hotel for nap-time (as previously noted, an essential component of every Baltes vacation) and stopped at a posh little coffeeshop. It was not a great experience. My espresso was sour, Emily’s latte they refused to season with vanilla syrup (“we don’t do that here”), and Mom didn’t like her coffee. She did get a cranberry toast topped with ricotta which she described as delightful. I described it as pedestrian. Lesson for the day: Emily should not be picking what we do. After all, she is the one that wanted for us all to go to the 2015 Philadelphia Beer and Bacon Festival.

I can only imagine how much bacon zipping Mom would do there.